THE TOTAL MAN PACKAGE

Saturday, January 21, 2006

STRAIGHT GUYS Support GAY RIGHTS NOW!

I'm totally Heterosexual(often considered Metro-sexual) and I definitely support Gay Rights. If other Straight Men of the world, could critically think out of the box like me, THE TOTAL MAN PACKAGE, you would too. Why? Because I want the same Rights Gay Guys get with chicks. Gay Guys get away with all types of behavior with women that straight guys can't. For example, women don't have any problems with gay guys touching them inappropriately in public, asking inappropriate questions, leering, hanging out at their slumber parties, etc.

Yes, it's true. At the Golden Globe Awards, Isaac Mizrahi touched female stars inappropriately and asked Howard Stern Style questions about their underwear and how they shave their privates(Scarlet Johansen, Eva Longoria, Teri Hatcher, and Queen Latifah). Damn, Mizrahi deserves the GOLDEN GAY AWARD. No, straight guys can get away with this except maybe Howard Stern, but Stern doesn't even touch without permission. Even he can't get away with this. Why? That's right. He's not gay.

Furthermore, when a girl thinks your Gay, she's all over you. Probably because she feels safe around a Gay Guy and sometimes because women see Gay Guys as a challenge to convert to the straight side of the FORCE. I also know this is TRUE! A couple of weeks ago a female friend of my that does Salsa Dancing told me that she was dancing for a guy that she knew was Gay and she deliberately sexed her dancing up.

Straight guys of the world UNITE! Start supporting Gay Rights Now! and we will all be able to get away with this same behavior. Or we can be like all the Straight Guys in Hollywood pretending we are Gay Guys(Capote- Philip Seymour Hoffman, Broke Back Mountain- Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal) to score with Chicks and get Academy Award Nominations.

THE TOTAL MAN PACKAGE! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!