PARAMOUNT PICTURES Pulls The PLUG

I got the call a couple of days ago from Heidi with Paramount Pictures that they decided to use their own people to play the Luchadores for Jack Black's new film NACHO LIBRE. Apparently, Paramount has a bunch of Wrestlers waiting around to roll at a moments notice for promotional gigs.

I spent all day roaming around town in my Hanes Underwear and steel toe boots trashing talking people just to get into character for this wrestling role. I even re-read "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Pro Wrestling"(I really have this book).

Well, Paramount the next time you want some white guy like The Package to play a Mexican Wrestler or Indian you're just going to have to call some lightweight like Daniel Day Lewis in "Last of The Mohicans" (1992) SIDE-NOTE: Wouldn't it suck if you were the 2nd to the last of the Mohicans. I mean you just miss out on all that fame and fortune.

Oh well, I guess it's best Paramount didn't use me anyhow. My Wrestling License has been revoked for years. I lost it in a Loser Must Retire and Leave Town Match to Kerry Von Erich at the Dallas Sportatorium years ago. Fortunately for me, most wrestling fans have extremely short memories and I was able to wrestle for other organizations without them ever noticing. Remember, in Wrestling only the Ring is Square.

THE TOTAL MAN PACKAGE!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!