Mayor Nagin, Chocolate, and Willy Wonka?

Yesterday, Mayor Ray Nagin said, "New Orleans will be a Chocolate city Again because that's the way God wants it." Now, everyone thinks he's a Racist again because of this statement and his previous one a couple of months ago, "How do I make sure New Orleans is not over run by Mexican workers?" This is just pure balderdash. Everybody knows only white people are racists.

I know what's really going on here. Come on, read between the lines. I shouldn't have to explain this to you 9-5 Ham and Eggers! This is clearly a move on Nagin's part to make New Orleans the Chocolate Capital of THE WORLD! My sources tell me Nagin plans on crushing Hershey Pennsylvania's reign as the sweetest place on Earth and replacing it with his own Willy Wonka Chocolate Wonder World in New Orleans.

Don't believe me. Mayor Nagin's Look-a-Like Montel Williams(same body structure, bald head, and goatee)was on Fox New's Day Side show earlier today trying to help Nagin out with this controversy while Mayor Nagin was on the phone with Day Side. We don't need Montel's favorite Psychic Sylvia Browne to see what's going on here; NAGIN IS CLEARLY MAKING THE MOVE TO DOMINATE WORLD CHOCOLATE PRODUCTION!

Well, Pal you may have the rest of country fooled, but you haven't fooled THE TOTAL MAN PACKAGE! I'm a 100% Pasty, White, Irish American and I'm coming to NEW ORLEANS with my Irish crew to put some VANILLA SWIRL in your Chocolate World! The Irish are the Original Gangsters(OG's). Remember the Gangs of New York and the Five Points. Us Irish can be a mean, angry lot. So you and Montel better get ready because I'm coming!

There's only one way out Nagin. I'm willing to call my Irish Goons off if you can get me a part in Willy Wonka II. I'm sure they will be filming in New Orleans due to all the recent tax incentives and especially if you make NEW ORLEANS A CHOCOLATE CITY! (Yes, another reason I'm irritated with Nagin. New Orleans is getting all the movie work Austin, TX used to get).

Nagin, you better consider my offer or the next statement you'll be making on the news will be, "How The Hell do I get these Damn, Rampant, Rabid, Irish Immigrants out of New Orleans?"

Take Care! THE TOTAL MAN PACKAGE!!! WOOOOO!!!!!